The number 1 cause of premature ejaculation is an uncontrollable and overwhelming urge to ejaculate, produced from over-stimulation by your lover. This urge seems impossible to fight, or so people think! Your body reacts like this to ensure impregnation and the survival of our species. So basically it's a natural reaction. A natural reaction that you can alter. You know it can be altered because some men don't suffer from premature ejaculation and if it's a natural reaction it can't be a physical problem. So there is nothing medically wrong with you.
Premature ejaculation is the most common male sexual dysfunction. In the United States, premature ejaculation affects about one in five men ages 18 to 59. Although the problem is often assumed to be psychological, biology also may play a role. In some cases, premature ejaculation is a secondary problem related to erectile dysfunction. Men who are anxious about obtaining or maintaining their erection during sexual intercourse may form a pattern of rushing to ejaculate.
Premature ejaculation is usually an unmistakable experience to a man or his partner, but through the years it has been difficult for professionals to agree on a precise definition of this common sexual concern. As Helen Kaplan, M.D. and other professionals point out, this phenomenon may occur because the man is unable to recognize that he is about to ejaculate. And even when he does recognize he is approaching ejaculation, he feels he is unable to control or delay the process. (read more on premature ejaculation prevention)
More on premature ejaculation prevention
Finally, there's no question that anxiety plays a part in many cases of premature ejaculation. If you're nervous, you're likely to come too quickly. That's why many males have discovered for themselves that a small amount of alcohol eases their nerves and makes them less likely to climax prematurely. But we wouldn't recommend alcohol as a treatment!
The main cause of premature ejaculation is biological. Upon sexual stimulation and arousal, the normal physical responses for a man and a woman are similar. A man will achieve a climax and then ejaculate about two to three minutes after penetrating the vagina. Women will reach orgasm about 12 to 14 minutes after intercourse occurs. Many women do not achieve orgasm especially if only penetration of the vagina by the penis occurs during sexual activity. Many women achieve orgasm through other methods of sexual stimulation although for some, orgasm is not achieved under any circumstances nor with any type of stimulation. Roughly 10% of women fall into this category. Other causes of premature ejaculation include psychological factors such as marital and relationship issues; performance anxiety (with partners new to each other and especially in the inexperienced partner); fear (associated with concerns regarding getting caught or discovered, sexually transmitted diseases or potential pregnancy ); and guilt (believing the activity is sinful e.g., premarital or extramarital sex).
A premature ejaculation CURE (different approach) provides you with the physical and psychological discipline that can be applied for an eternity. A CURE is usually obtained through more clinical approaches for dealing with premature ejaculation (i,e. therapy, hypnotherapy, mental and physical conditioning).
Ejaculation is a reflex that, once a certain level of stimulation is reached, is automatic. Controlling the ejaculatory reflex requires that the man be able to recognize and regulate the amount of stimulation he is experiencing so that he does not reach the level that will trigger the ejaculatory reflex before he wants to.
premature ejaculation prevention
The knowledge of normal male and female sexual responses prior to engaging in sexual activity may be helpful in preventing premature ejaculation.
Your health professional may recommend that you and your partner practice specific techniques to help delay ejaculation. These techniques may involve identifying and controlling the sensations that lead up to ejaculation and communicating to slow or stop stimulation. Other options include using a condom to reduce sensation to the penis or trying a different position (such as lying on your back) during intercourse. Counseling or behavioral therapy may help reduce anxiety related to premature ejaculation.
However, the primary treatment of ejaculatory control is helping a man, by various techniques, to repeatedly focus his attention on the increasing erotic sensations in his body as he approaches orgasm. By increasing his awareness of the buildup of these pleasurable sensations he is better able to judge where he is along the path of reaching an orgasm and ejaculating. (Note: orgasm and ejaculation are separate events, caused by separate systems in the male's body, though they usually occur at the same time. The term orgasm is commonly used when speaking of a male's ejaculation. Technically, however, orgasm is just the peak of the intense pleasurable feeling that usually follows a man being highly sexually excited.
The stop-start method involves the partner stimulating the man's penis, except that when the man instructs, the partner stops stimulating the man's penis before ejaculation becomes inevitable. Then as he feels he regains control, he instructs the partner to begin stimulating his penis again. This procedure is repeated three times before allowing the man to ejaculate on the fourth time. The couple repeats this exercise three times a week, until the man has good control, then they progress to stop-start with lubrication, and then intercourse with the woman on top and the man not moving. He again instructs her to stop moving when he senses he is losing control. The couple progresses over subsequent times to the having the man move, then side by side intercourse. Instead of stopping and starting, the couple may progress to merely slowing down to enable the man to regain control of his urge to ejaculate. The therapists counseling patients using this stop-start technique report a 90 percent success rate in delaying ejaculation. (read more on premature ejaculation prevention)
premature ejaculation prevention - Tips
The program we recommend for learning ejaculatory control is very likely to provide your lover with greater sexual enjoyment, but not just because you last longer. Women generally prefer leisurely, playful, whole-body, massage-oriented sensuality that includes the genitals but is not limited to them. Women's main complaints about men's sexual style are that it's too rushed, too mechanical, too eager for intercourse, and that it focuses only on the breasts and genitals. Women generally feel that the whole body is a sensual playground, and can't understand why so many men explore only a few corners of it. Like women, penises generally prefer leisurely, playful, whole-body, massage-oriented lovemaking. The rushed, penis-centered, intercourse-fixated sex style puts a lot of pressure on the penis, and leads to premature ejaculation. But when men make love the way women prefer, whole-body arousal takes the pressure off your penis and you last longer. Basically, if men would make love the way women prefer, women would have fewer complaints, and men would have fewer sex problems.
Don't use drugs or alcohol. They're distracting and they interfere with the self-awareness crucial to learning ejaculatory control.
Then, your lover strokes your penis by hand as you lie still. When you approach your point of no return, give the "stop" signal. Your lover immediately stops stroking you and simply holds your penis gently, as you continue to breathe deeply and pays close attention to the sensations you're feeling. When you no longer feels close to ejaculation, gives the "start" signal, and your lover begins stroking you again. How many stops and starts should you do? A half-dozen over a 15-minute period works well for most couples. Do what feels comfortable for you.
